Loneliness
by T.Storm
Summary: This is a short ReiShinji lemon. It's not too explicit, I've tried to keep it sweet and have at least somewhat of a plot. Enjoy!


Disclaimer: I don't own NGE, just the DVDs, and Mangas. Don't sue me please, I don't have any money, I just wrote this story because I was deeply touched and moved by the story.

This is something I thought I should write a while back. I didn't know whether to post this or not, mostly because I didn't think it'd interest people, and because I didn't believe in my own quality as a writer (which I still don't). I'm still not sure whether or not people will like this story but I guess the only way to find out was to actually post it. So here's a lemon involving Shinji and Rei. I don't care if people don't agree with this pairing. This is for all you fellow R/S fans out there. I have another idea for a fanfic based around this pairing and I hope I'll get around to writing it soon. I hope you'll enjoy this short story.

**Loneliness**

Shinji slowly awoke from his slumber and felt the warmth of Rei laying next to him. Softly he pulled her closer into his embrace remembering the happenings of the prior day.

_When he heard the ring of the bell he had opened the door seeing as there was no one else. Misato was pulling an all-nighter over at NERV ,and after the 15th Angel had ravaged Asuka's mind the red haired girl had been increasingly absent from the apartment, often going off to her friend Hikari. _

_When he opened the door Rei was standing on the other end, shivering and soaking wet from the heavy rain that had started two days prior, and having never stopped since. He had been so surprised finding the pale girl in front of his door that he just stared at her for a few moments until she brought him out of his daze requesting if she could come in. "Off course, sorry I hadn't expected to find you here…" He'd answered immediately, blushing profusely for his gawping._

He lifted his head up and looked at the blue haired beauty laying in his arms, then rested his head back on his pillow, closing his eyes and recalling the events that followed.

"_Please, Ayanami-san, sit down… I'll get you a blanket, you must be freezing!" Shinji said, immediately moving to his room to grab his blanket._

"_Thank you Ikari-kun" Rei replied, then mentally added: 'Yet again I use these words with you, Ikari… Only with you have I used them.' _

_She moved to the couch and sat down on it, thinking to herself why she had come here, what she'd have to tell the young boy. Long had she debated whether or not to reveal her secret to him, and long had she evaded the boy out of fear. But fear of what exactly she hadn't known. Ever since Shinji had disappeared into the Sea of Dirac her feelings had been plaguing her. At the moment she had even questioned a direct order._

"_Here you go Ayanami-san… but… can I ask you ah… why'd you come here?" Shinji said as he handed here the blanket, mesmerized by her blood red eyes as she stared into his blue orbs, accepting the blanket and putting it around her shoulders. "…not that you're not welcome of course!" He continued as he didn't want to make the pretty girl feel unwelcome, on the contrary actually, he'd had a crush on the girl ever since she'd smiled for him after they'd defeated the 5th Angel, and had secretly been hoping to spend more time with her._

"_Ikari-kun... I have…" She struggled to find the words for what she knew needed to be said. She had always felt alone, but it had never bothered her. No one had ever attempted to get closer to her, not that she had really allowed anyone. _

_The quiet boy had shown an interest in her, and despite her reservations she had become more than interested in the young boy. He had been persistent in trying to befriend her although he had been very shy about it. It was the shyness that intrigued her the most and had made her suddenly very aware of the loneliness in her heart. _

"_I have…" She continued but still not able to find the words. The inadequate feelings she got was crushing her resolve to tell the boy. She had been thinking this over but she just couldn't find herself to say what she felt in her heart._

_Shinji plopped down on the couch next to her, seeing the distraught look on the girl's face. "what is it Ayanami… you… you can tell me." The boy said. He raised his hand slightly, wanting to put it on her back as a soothing gesture but decided against it, a slight feeling of fear crawling up to his chest. 'Maybe it's too intimate a gesture…' he thought._

_Rei shivered, suddenly very aware of her wet hair and clothes gone cold. 'Clothing looses 90 of it's insulation-value from getting wet' she recalled from an article she'd read. She didn't understand why that came to mind now, with so much else troubling her. Realizing she'd been quiet for quite a while, she stole a quick glance at the boy next to her who in turn gazed straight back into her eyes. _

_A nearly uncontrollable urge to close the distance between their faces and plant a kiss on the young man's lips overwhelmed her. She blushed at the thought, and this didn't go unnoticed for Shinji. "Ah… Ayanami?... are you gonna tell me what's…" Slowly Rei closed the distance between them, finding it much easier to just act than to speak out her thoughts. "…wrong?" Shinji managed to finish right before the girl brushed her lips against his. _

'_so soft…' They thought in unison. As quickly as the kiss started it ended, Rei immediately turning away from the boy in shame. "I'm sorry, Ikari-kun… I… I shouldn't have done that…"_

_Shinji was just sitting still, his eyes still closed, and unable to utter a word or thought for that matter. The blue haired girl turned back to the boy seeing his still form, eyes closed. She raised her hand and softly caressed his cheek bringing the boy out of his trance. _

_Struggling for words he looked at her, a little light in the head and confused. This was definitely not what he expected when he first saw the girl standing in front of his door. "Ah… Aya…Ayanami…-san…" He muttered._

"_Was that… acceptable… Ikari-kun?" She said sighing afterwards, then continued: "…I'm sorry if I offended you… but…" she gulped loudly, seeing Shinji still giving her a baffled look. "..but I… feel very alone…" _

_A tear dropped from her eyes, soon followed by more. By voicing this she had for the first time admitted to herself that she had, in fact, felt very alone and hated it. She closed here eyes, fearing that the young Ikari's silence was his rejection, more tears dropping from her eyes in the process._

_Shinji saw the tears drop from her eyes after her confession. His heart was racing, the kiss she had given him still fresh in his mind, as were her words. He raised his hand to her cheek, this time with resolve, and brushed away the tears. He leaned in towards her and softly brushed his lips against hers. He felt her hands move to the sides of his face, gently caressing his cheeks and deepen the kiss, he raised his other hand and returned the gesture. They broke the kiss after a few seconds opening their eyes staring into eachothers eyes for a moment._

_Rei shivered and stated softly: "I'm cold…" Her lower jaw quivered as if trying to prove the simple statement. She pulled away the blanket and started unbuttoning her soaked shirt. _

"_Ah… let's get you of these wet clothes then." Shinji whispered softly as he reached out to brush her hands aside and finish the task for her. He gulped as Rei allowed him to undress her. "…I uhm… I don't mean to…" He stammered, thinking she might misunderstand his actions. _

_Rei understanding his predicament put a finger to his lips gently. "…don't worry… I just wish to be close to you… is that alright?" Rei interrupted him as she moved her hands to undo her skirt. Shinji just nodded his agreement as he pulled the cold garment from her shoulders. Rei stood up from the couch and reached her hand out to the young boy. Shinji took it without question and let himself be led to his room._

_They stepped into his room and moved to the bed. Rei softly kissed him again while starting to unbutton his shirt. "aah… Aya…Rei" he interrupted himself with a gasp as she reached down and started to undo the belt on his pants. "Rei please… don't you think this is… too fast?" She gave him a quizzical look but soon understood what he meant. "Don't worry… I don't mean to... ah… unless… unless you want to?" She said softly. She found the thought of intercourse with him strangely thrilling. "No!... well… not that… I mean uh… can we ah… ah.. just enjoy eachother's company?" He stammered, his heart racing faster than ever having to admit to himself that the very pretty girl in front of him was very tempting._

_Rei sat down on the bed after finishing with taking of his shirt and pants. She gently took hold of his hand and pulled him down. "I would just like to be with you… I don't want to be alone tonight… Is that… acceptable?" Shinji just nodded his agreement. They laid down on his bed together, enjoying eachother's warmth. Soon they were both sound asleep._

Shinji was roused from his thoughts as he felt the beautiful girl shift in his arms. He looked at her and found her pair of red orbs staring straight into his soul. "Good morning..." he muttered softly. A soft smile formed on her lips as she snuggled closer to him. "Good morning Ikari-kun…"

"Ah… Ayanami… please… call me Shinji… I.. I would like it if you'd call me Shinji from now on" He gave her a meek smile. She returned the smile and said: "I will… you may call me Rei if you wish." They slowly moved closer and kissed softly, and as they broke off they both let out a content sigh. Rei shifted her weight moving on top of the boy making him groan softly. The feeling of Rei's soft breasts pressing into his chest made him feel slightly light-headed. Their kiss deepened slowly as Shinji summoned all of his courage to run is tongue over her lips. Rei pulled back from the kiss, her heart racing at the unfamiliar feeling. "I'm… I'm sorry I didn't mea—" He tried to say but was quickly interrupted as Rei pressed her lips back to his and allowed him access to her mouth. He greedily accepted and let his tongue slip back into her mouth, meeting hers, this time with determination.

The kiss quickly increased in intensity as both teenagers let their hands roam over eachother's bodies. Shinji had his hands on her hips, slowly moving them upwards, his heart racing faster and faster as they moved closer to her breasts. He halted as he felt his hands make contact with the fabric of the bra covering her soft globes. He broke the kiss and looked deep into her eyes as if asking for permission to proceed. Getting no answer from the girl he softly pecked her on the lips and moved his hands to her back, to the clasp of her bra.

Finally understanding what his intentions were she gently placed a kiss in the nape of his neck, reassuring him of her permission. Fumbling with the clasp for a few moments he finally managed to undo the garment, and threw it to the side.

He moved his hands to her breasts, but as soon as his hands made contact with the soft tissue something began to dawn on him. 'what am I doing?... this… this is so wrong… am I really about to take advantage of this girl? No… she wants this too doesn't she? But… she doesn't know what this means… does she?'

His hands slowly slid away from her chest, his elbows resting on the mattress, his hands having slid to her sides only gently holding her. 'She… if I go further… this might lead to…' He couldn't even bring himself to think about what this could lead to.

"S..Shinji?..." Rei inquired softly, seeing the vacant look in the boy's eyes. 'Why is he stopping… this feeling… is very agreeable' She thought as she looked at the young boy beneath her.

'She's so beautiful… I don't want her to think I'm rejecting her… cause I'd do anything to stay with her but… but if I keep going now… I'll just be taking advantage of her…' His gaze redirected to the girl on top of him when she, once again, spoke his name. "Rei… are you sure… we're doing the right thing?"

She gave him a puzzled look, never had anything felt more right in her life than this single moment. "Rei… I don't want to uh… I don't want to have… h-have sex with you…" The girl's look only intensified. 'He's rejecting me?...' The shock of his words penetrated her fully. A tear left the corner of her eye, slid down her cheek and landed on his neck.

She quickly struggled to get off the boy but his hands firmly held her in place as he continued. "I mean… I would… but… I don't want to take advantage of you… if we were to… to... you know… I wouldn't feel right. I don't feel like I am worthy of that.

Another tear collided with his face as it dropped from the girl's eye. "Shinji… don't reject me please…" She softly pleaded "…please?..." She repeated, her face contorted as she struggled to hold more tears back in vain.

He pulled her closer and softly whispered into her ear: "Don't… don't think that… I would never reject you… but somehow this seems wrong." She encircled him with her arms and slowly came to rest on her side next to him, pulling him on his side with her.

They stared into eachothers eyes for a few moments when Rei softly whispered to him. "I… this feeling you are giving me…" A blush crept on her face as she gently took hold of his hand and placed it between her breasts, on her heart. "…here…" her blush deepened as she slowly slid his hand down, over her stomach and in between her legs. "…and here…" She gasped softly as his hand made contact with her panties and what lay beneath them. Shinji's face quickly followed her shade of red at the intimate contact. "It is something I've never felt before…"

All thoughts about cutting off their petting session went out of the window, and his determination grew to give the girl what she wanted, needed maybe even. He gently kissed the girl on the lips, propped himself up on his elbow, kissed her cheek, then moved closer to her ear, kissing her on her jaw line just beneath her ear.

As Rei loosened her grip on his hand he moved it back up to her breast, gently caressing it, feeling her nipple harden at his soft touch. He kissed her lower, at the nape of her neck, as she softly moaned from the sensations running through her, her hands moving to caress his back.

More tears dropped from her eyes as the new sensations running through her body drove coherent thought from her mind. Shinji lowered his head, first kissing her on the collarbone, then further down, just above her nipple, and then moved the last bit of distance and took the nipple into his mouth, suckling gently.

Rei's eyes broke open she and groaned audibly as Shinji's hand moved down to her panties and slid them down. His hand slid back between her legs and began caressing her gently. Rei's hands moved up from his back to his head, putting gentle pressure on it to intensify his actions.

Greatly encouraged, Shinji moved to her unattended breast and began suckling on the tout nipple. Unable to cope with the feeling Rei arched her back and dropped back on the bed, starting to gyrate her hips as Shinji's hand intensified it's actions.

Her hands guided Shinji's head towards her own and away from her breasts, rather forcibly, and kissed him. She opened her mouth as she moaned loudly into his mouth. Shinji took the opportunity to gently slide his tongue into her mouth and met hers, seemingly battling for control.

Her moans intensified more and more and she finally broke the kiss as a soundless scream left her mouth, lightning running through her veins as she reached her climax, her back arching and then dropping back on the bed. She rolled over and on top of the young boy, forcing him on his back and pinning his hand between them as her climax receded and kissed him hard on his lips.

He pulled his hand, wet with her juices, from out between them and absentmindedly wiped it off on his bed. Sufficiently dried he moved his hand to her back, assisting his other hand in caressing her back. Rei lay motionless on top of him, her arms thrown around his neck, totally spent from her first sexual encounter. Shinji just lay motionless underneath her, hearing the girl's breathing slowly steady along with her heartbeat. Content with the sleeping girl in his arms, and with his choice not to pursue his own needs, he too quickly drifted off to sleep.

Author's notes:

I hope you all enjoyed the story, first of all. If people turn out to actually like this piece of crap I'll have to sum up all my courage and write down my other ideas. Flame me, give me constructive criticism or praise me for a good story, it's up to you, I'll accept it all. This story has not been pre-read and I'm not a native English speaker so all faults, grammar errors and the like are mine.


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